Though many people’s sharing inspired me a lot, there was not enough thrust to push me into the program. But these words of Sadhguru - “Most damage in this world is done out of good intentions, Once you experience another being as a part of you, whichever way you are, you will be fine; Bhava Spandana is one possibilty for that.. ” took me into BSP...
The first day, In fact I was afraid. I was not really involved with what’s happening there on the first day evening. On the second day, it was the first time in my life when I was able to be with “That usually really disturbing, unpleasant” thought without any pain. The feeling was literally like coming out of a cage. Though it was a teacher who conducted the program, I already started thanking Sadhguru for what happened to me. I was only trying to thank. But could not really thank. Tears were just flowing and there was a feeling like "It is good I came for this program"
Then in the same day evening, at one point All the pretensions I had till then were just removed one by one. There came a point when I just could not pretend anymore. Till that point in my life, love means only the feeling of missing somebody or something. But here this process delivered me into a state of emotion where I was just crying out of love. Nothing could disturb me. I was afraid my mind would bring this emotion down. But for the intensity of what was happening there, my mind actually almost disappeared. It could not disturb me at-least. The experience was so beautiful... so beautiful that I started regretting for the way I was living. When life could be so beautiful, all that I was doing just seemed stupid to me.
Those few beautiful moments had just changed the fundamentals within me. After coming back from BSP when I was sitting in an Inner Engineering program as a volunteer, the very teaching felt completely different within me. It was so overwhelming that I just wanted to touch the teacher's feet at the end of the session. The same is true with the practice. I would say I started tasting Shambavi only after my Bhava Spandana.Pranams,