Nothing Could Disturb Me.. BSP Sharing by Velsankar

Though many people’s sharing inspired me a lot, there was not enough thrust to push me into the program. But these words of Sadhguru - “Most damage in this world is done out of good intentions, Once you experience another being as a part of you, whichever way you are, you will be fine; Bhava Spandana is one possibilty for that.. ” took me into BSP...

The first day, In fact I was afraid. I was not really involved with what’s happening there on the first day evening. On the second day, it was the first time in my life when I was able to be with “That usually really disturbing, unpleasant” thought without any pain. The feeling was literally like coming out of a cage. Though it was a teacher who conducted the program, I already started thanking Sadhguru for what happened to me. I was only trying to thank. But could not really thank. Tears were just flowing and there was a feeling like "It is good I came for this program"

Then in the same day evening, at one point All the pretensions I had till then were just removed one by one. There came a point when I just could not pretend anymore. Till that point in my life, love means only the feeling of missing somebody or something. But here this process delivered me into a state of emotion where I was just crying out of love. Nothing could disturb me. I was afraid my mind would bring this emotion down. But for the intensity of what was happening there, my mind actually almost disappeared. It could not disturb me at-least. The experience was so beautiful... so beautiful that I started regretting for the way I was living. When life could be so beautiful, all that I was doing just seemed stupid to me.

Those few beautiful moments had just changed the fundamentals within me. After coming back from BSP when I was sitting in an Inner Engineering program as a volunteer, the very teaching felt completely different within me. It was so overwhelming that I just wanted to touch the teacher's feet at the end of the session. The same is true with the practice. I would say I started tasting Shambavi only after my Bhava Spandana.

Pranams,

Velsankar

BSP Sharing - A Glimpse on my True State of Being..

BSP happened to be my last left-out program which was needed for attending Samyama. That was the only reason which lead me to BSP registration. But i can clearly split my life into two.. Life Before BSP and Life After BSP. I was really hesitant to go, as I was having strong pre-judice about crying! I had seen only tears of suffering, hatred and had never experienced tears of love or gratitude till then..

As the program progressed.. all my resistant buildings which I had towards people,acts,things started loosening up, base of everything started getting shattered.. I was able to mingle with a lady of 75 years old, as easily, i will be with my college friend.. Those which i had gold platted as my biggest achievements like "Sitting in the last row of the class","Never take a mike in hand to speak", "Always go late to an event","Don't participate in anything but always mock up one who does" .. started breaking up. As it was going, i started feeling very light within myself. But with all these going in at 50% involvement, rest 50% was trying to make sense out of what was happening there, with my 21 year educated mind!!!

At one moment in the hall, i completely broke up and i found my mind was stumbling to find a reason for it .. and the first time tears started flowing out of me due to pain of ignorance. Front of my t-shirt was fully wet in tears and i found.. am missing something really basic in life. That moment was an eye-opener!

And the last day, till that point, I had always looked Sadhguru as the most intelligent, wittiest person i had seen in my life. But for the first time, i raised my head to look up with reverence and bowed down to him with tears of gratitude. When we were asked to share by Lalitha ma.. I said, "With 50% i have become like this.. So am definitely going to come back to BSP as a volunteer to throw myself with 100% involvement"

The Bus travel in which we returned back from Ashram was nothing but a grand "CELEBRATION" ..that too with such a mix and variety of ppl. Everyone left me with a loving nod.. and first time, i found that i was in a state of acceptance and joy where in people who don't even know my name were reciprocating the same love and joy.. I found the secret of unconditional happiness and joy :) and as i keep this ON within me.. where-ever I'm.. the place is full of joy, love and natural sense of sharing is there.. BSP has added the ONLY missing color to my life :)

Pranams,
Jayalakshmi